Massive and un-restrained title change was necessary

there is beauty in nature....and in other people, too.

A droplet of rain
sitting gently on her face
this is true beauty

sometimes... somtimes I just write a hiaku that really hits me. this one does.... maybe not you.

allrighty.
I mentioned I saw van helsing, maybe? It was allright... I wouldn't see it again... the high point was Hugh Jackman and the lead lady, just them. not them whooping ass, no. Just them. that's all.

I want to go see "the village," the new M. Knight Shalamayan (or however you spell it) movie that is coming out. it should whoop ass, judging by his earlier work.

also, there's another movie coming out that COULD be good- The chronicles of Riddick. I am not particularly a fan of Vin Diesel, I think he's a little below average talented, but perhaps it will be good. and of course, troy is coming out, too. and I wanna see that.
I almost forgot! the sequel of Bourne Identity is also on its way, and I want to see it, too. I'm sure it will be allright.

I intend to go see Dawn of the Dead with rex, tommorow or something in the Dollar Theatre. maybe... it will be good.

I don't know... feeling the depression of being stuck at home set in.... crappy.

Applied at lowes, Home depot, conoco, and Auto Zone. next on the list is albetsons, IGA, Homeland, Ace Hardware, and the lord of all capitialist places, Wal-Mart.

I suppose things settled down on the kyle front. However, I didn't really like the way he handled the apology... and of course- people do make mistakes- but he could have let Amanda know what was going on...

He wasn't talking about Nikki, apparently. However, it still seems like he was avoiding her or ignoring her... and I didn't like that. when someone is putting out really strong avoidance signals for a several week period, and then suddenly writes such a post.... It's easy for people like me to assume things that perhaps we shouldn't. the timing was perfect- Nikki had just posted on her blog. everything added up, yet I was missing a vital piece of info...

To Kyle. A kid I don't ever want to be compared to again- even if he redeems himself.
He recently played 3 girls pretty well, as far as I'm concerned. he told them he was their friend, acted interested, and then, suddenly, dropped them when all of a sudden he had a new girl.
I watched his behavior with Nikki, I saw some of the things he had said about being more than just friendly- and now he's saying he doesn't care. how nice. go HERE for Kyle's post that I responded to with this.

JESUS CHRIST, Kyle! I was fucking IN Kansas with you and Nikki and Amanda! you'd best not forget that! I watched you lay your head on Nikki's leg- perhaps you were just being friendly- but for some damned reason or other she thought you were her BEST FRIEND! Your behavior contradicts what you claim in your post about not being interested.

don't you get it? if you don't care, then you LET HER KNOW! and you should have called her back like you promised and told her that! she told me "I don't care if there isn't a chance I just want to know, now" and you never answered your phone, called her back once at 9 in the morning and then never called again when she promised!

I don't care if you aren't INTERESTED, but you're supposed to be her friend! and friends DON'T ignore one another, friends DON'T allow friends to think certain things!

so, you normally laid your head on her leg? okay, nice. SHE didn't think so.

let's move onto Amanda, shall we? you talked to her on the phone- and then suddenly CUT OFF COMMUNICATION without letting her know what is going on?? that's right, REAL friendly.

you are/were supposed to be a friend! what about how you still hung out with Nikki when you were with desiree (or whatever her name was). granted- I don't have your side- but I do know you ignored her phone calls and AVOIDED her. and apparently started ignoring some other girl, too. even if you weren't interested.... they THOUGHT they were your friends. are you saying they aren't? because by posting "I don't care" you aren't coming across as a friend.

Man, Kyle. you really are such a gentleman. telling people you're their friend and then avoiding them and letting them think things that as far as I was concerned, perhaps could be true."


I'm not sure if he will delete the post or block me or what, but I'd almost like him to. because I'm sure that lots of people would come down on him if he did.

IF he does delete my post, I will repost it. allthough I'm worried I might offend nikki with some of that stuff. but if he blocks me, I'd like it if people told him what a gentleman he was.

I just realized that I went from hair long enough for me to eat to hair that is so short as to not exist.

here I am, sitting at my family computer in my "house" typing this post. I don't think I could feel more out of place right now. I don't belong here, not at all.
I brought everything home today, and I was moved OUT by ten. we're supposed to turn in our keys by 1pm. well, good ol' me didn't, because James had slept in, and he needed help cleaning, help that adam and the other james were NOT there to provide.
so, I could have turned in my key by 10, but I didn't. I should have, as I got charged 150$ for staying "an extra day." well, how nice. we try to make your apartment clean- and I turn in my keys by 1:30-1:45 and you charge me half a month's rent? that's NICE. I was totally pissed off. my only hope now is that they don't go through with the charge, but there's little hope of that.
so of course, thanks to the faithful help of--- oh, wait. it was just me and JAMES cleaning the apartment.

go to ben and emily's for dinner- and I'm collapsing. I didn't get ANY sleep, and I had been up for a crappy long time. so I fall asleep for like 30 minutes there.
Then I eat, come home, and fall asleep on the couch HERE for a couple hours. then I wake up and try to go upstairs to sleep. wait, THAT'S not happening. it would be nice if I could SLEEP here.

I come up stairs, and the area that brandon didn't want me to have has suddenly been designated as "mine." well, I had decided I DIDN'T want It! >:| of course, the floor is like a fucking magott-ridden pit of hell, so I get to clean THAT up, tommorow.
I'm highly debating just LEAVING. taking all my stuff and driving somewhere. sleeping in my blazer down by the river and working at IHOP.

speaking of jobs, I might get a job at IHOP. who knows? but they need someone for graveyard shift. maybe I'll get it.

this keyboard is yiddish or german or something crappy, and other than the fact that it's a qwerty keyboard and I can still type like mad on it, all of the keys are different. you want to find a |? oh, that's right! let's move it. and because we're german we'll make the spacebar shaped differently, too! oh, and what the hell is up with these extra A and O keys? man, I hate this keyboard.

The sooner I get a job, the sooner I'm OUT of here, I think. I need a job. desperately.

holy CRAP! if only I could get pinstripes like THIS on my blazer! :D

we can all wish for things.... :) I'll get some eventually, perhaps. I need to repaint the hood first. I think I'll get some black krylon and seal all the windows and seal the red bottom part and spray that sucker down! then perhaps pinstripes. and something on the back.

hmm.... I'm trying to fix that crappy angelfire background glitch in the archives. it doesn't want to, apparently. I'm very angry with one of Nikki's friends, not because he's generally an ass, but because he's totally ignoring her. friends or otherwise, she deserves some sort of an answer, and ignoring your friends isn't gentleman-like.

my room is completely devoid of life, and my cat sophie thinks she's going to be abandoned, again. she's going home with me for the summer, I'm not going to abandon her- not that her previous owners had much choice.

surprisingly, there has been little-or-no conflict with James. I would expect that there would have been, especially now that we're moving out and everything is hectic around here. but, there's way less. I think we're both relieved that we're not living with the other again- but I'm slightly worried that he will carry some hard feelings with him.

I got an applicaiton for IHOP. at this point, I'd work anywhere.... Norman is super crappy for jobs. I'll find one eventually, though.

I really like the changes they made to the template. a lot.

the new blogger look is going to take some getting used to. it's... I'm not sure it's easier. perhaps it is.

that's not what I wanted to post about, though. I really wanted to post about what's going on. I'm supposed to be getting three hours of sleep before I move out of my apartment completely tommorow, and all I can think about is writing more of my book, Finder's side story, and then- tracy.
how strange. in the middle of moving out, and I just don't care a whole lot....
I shaved my hair. down to a quarter inch. which is crazy, it's the shortest it's ever been.
I also just realized something- I type along just fine until I frigging start to think about it. and then I become conscious and start to mess up and have to look at the keys. how annoying.

that's all for now.

holy crap! it's been a while since I posted. a LONG while. that's because I was busy posting on my new site. :-! oh well. I'll post something useful here eventually.