Massive and un-restrained title change was necessary

I had a long, and somewhat frustrating (but also fun) day. I had a customer throw a bottle of soda at someone’s car because he was messing with one of our pumps and she told on him (I have no idea what he was doing. Just pushing buttons on the gas pump).

I had another customer butt in on a conversation I was having with Curtis. It was going something somewhat like this:

Me: “I borrowed a 7 amp corded drill from a friend to do my tiling job. Man, that thing has more torque than my car!”
(Curtis laughs)
Customer: “What kind of car do you have?”
Me: “I’m only kidding.”

Customer: “Well, you wouldn’t believe the kind of numbers our cars had when I was your age.”

Me: “well, my car only has around 140 ft. lbs of torque.”

(Customer laughs uproariously, as if at some really funny joke)

Me: “Well, it’s only a 2 litre. But it does have 200 horsepower. You have to give it some credit.”
Customer: “Suuuure.”

The fact is, he’s probably remembering his hemi from the good ol’ days. I’m sure he had something stupid and absurd that got 8 miles to the gallon and managed to pull a ¼ mile in 15 seconds. That’s moderately fast, but my car can do that with 100 ftlbs less torque, 100 less horsepower, and manage to get 4 times the gas mileage while doing it.

This is NOT the kind of customer that had something that pulled a 0-60 in 5 seconds, and a quarter in 13 flat. No. not that kind of guy.

The older generation can scoff at the cars moving around on the streets these days, but my car is much better, in many ways, to those older cars. First off, the car that I am driving is as fast, and faster than, some of those old muscle cars. Not very many of them, though. Some of those cars were insanely quick. They were also very expensive and got something like 4-8 miles per gallon. By the time you managed to drive one home, you were going right back to the gas station. They also weren’t limited by catalytic converters, which manage to steal a lot of horsepower.

My car is averaging 28 miles per gallon (combined city highway)

It’s as fast as some of those older cars

It has better handling

My car has a higher specific output than the majority of those older cars

And it’s better made.

So everyone out there that’s so god-damned proud of their old school, gas guzzling, environment slaying, catalytic converter-less piece of SHIT- go hang yourself.

Or better yet, drive your car off of a cliff. That will solve it pretty nicely.

Note: I actually have a lot of respect for a lot of those older cars, and find many of them beautiful. They were from a different time period. Credit must be given where credit is due, and many of those cars will always be some of the most powerful and quickest cars around.