Massive and un-restrained title change was necessary

I sit at the kitchen table, eating 7 layer bean dip and reading Prey. Crichton's ability to write out a NORMAL family caught in an amazing situation impresses me.
"'Really, Dad, I don't care. It's in the past. I'm moving on." And then a moment later, 'You know who got it? That little suckup Katie Richards! Mr. Blakely is just a dick!' And before I could say anything, she burst into tears, sobbing loudly and histrionically. Eric looked over at me, and rolled his eyes.
I drove home, making a mental note to speak to Nicole about her language after dinner, when she had calmed down."

I look up from Prey (Crichton is is such a good writer), my water is boiling on the stove for the Ramen. It's 4 o'clock, but my metabolism is wack, and I'm hungry. The orange-yellow wrapper of the chicken ramen winks at me from the top of the fridge, and I take it down. I can barely see the flavor packet through the package, as if it's been sitting in the sun for too long, and has been faded. Is that bad?
I'm reminded, momentarily, of what Nikki said the other day- "I don't know if you all are gonna want to eat that, it's at least a couple years old."
MY stomach growls, and I shrug, opening the wrapper. are the noodles a bit too dry looking? I dump the noodles into the water- they seem to be boiling normally.
I go back to Prey, idly pushing a chip through the bean dip on my plate. I glance down for a moment, pushing a black olive away, and then bring my eyes back to the book and my hand to my mouth.
A moment later, the Ramen is hissing on the stove. I get up- it looks done to me.
I start pouring off some of the water in the fashion I typically do, careful not to lose too many noodles. I put the flavor packet in, start stirring it around. The smell of the Ramen wafts up towards me, and my nostrils flare. Something's wrong. It smells funny.
I examine the Ramen closely, noticing hundreds of little brown spots I've never noticed before. Have those always been in my Ramen? I can't tell for sure.
I begin to identify the smell, like decaying starch, a tangy, dry and barely pronounced smell that makes me stop breathing for a moment, just holding the smell in.
Is this going to make me sick again? I just got done with my last bout of sickness- I don't want to be sick, again!
Cautiously I bring a spoonful of the stuff to my mouth- is it a little less yellow than chicken ramen usually looks?
I sniff the ramen again, it still smells odd, almost musty. With only slight hesitation, I put the spoon in my mouth, and let the contents slide off onto my tongue. I roll it for a moment- but the texture seems normal. It tastes weird, slightly different, but I coud not explain, exactly, how.
I swallow, and stand perfectly still for a moment. No convulsions. No choking. I don't seem to have a temperature.
After a few more moments, I bring another spoonful to my mouth. it's not that bad, only slightly alien in taste.
I do not know how many times I bring the spoon to my mouth, but I stop, and look at the bowl. Half of it remains.
I glance at the top of the refrigerator, and the remaining packet of ancient chicken ramen there, among the bags of chips. After a moment of staring at the ugly yellow wrapper, I pour the contents of my bowl down the drain.
Someone else can eat the other packet.